By: Maria Kaloudis, M.S.

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, highlighting the often-overlooked issue of teen dating violence. As adolescents navigate relationships, many face risks, with up to 19% experiencing sexual or physical violence, nearly half encountering stalking or harassment, and 65% subjected to psychological abuse (Abrams, 2023).

Forms of Teen Dating Violence

• Physical Violence: Involves hurting or attempting to hurt a partner through physical force, such as hitting, kicking, or shoving.
• Sexual Violence: Includes forcing or attempting to force a partner into unwanted sexual acts or touching without their consent. It also encompasses non-physical behaviors, such as sharing or posting sexual photos without consent or sexting without mutual agreement.
• Emotional and Psychological Abuse: Using verbal or non-verbal communication to harm a partner mentally or emotionally. This includes manipulation tactics like gaslighting, constant criticism, verbal insults, and controlling behaviors designed to undermine self-esteem.
• Digital Abuse: Involves using technology and social media to monitor, control, or harm a partner. Examples include excessive texting, demanding passwords, tracking online activity, or sharing private content without consent.
• Stalking: A pattern of repeated, unwanted attention or contact by a current or former partner, causing fear or safety concerns for the victim or those close to them.

Warning Signs of Unhealthy Relationships

Recognizing red flags is key to early intervention. Common warning signs include:

• Withdrawing from friends, family, or favorite activities.
• Partner showing extreme jealousy or frequent mood swings.
• Feeling anxious or fearful when a partner contacts them.
• Partner controlling who they can see or what they can post online.
• Unexplained physical injuries or frequent apologies for a partner’s behavior.
• High highs and low lows in the relationship cycle, including “love bombing” (excessive compliments and gifts).

Digital Abuse and Red Flags

In today’s society, we all live through our technology, and digital abuse is a significant concern, as it allows abusers to control or harass victims even when they’re not physically present. Recognizing digital red flags is important for identifying unhealthy behaviors. Examples include:

• Excessive communication: Persistent calls, texts, or messages demanding constant updates on whereabouts or activities.
• Monitoring and control: Demanding access to social media accounts, tracking online activity, or dictating who a partner can interact with.
• Threats and pressure: Making threats if a response isn’t immediate or pressuring for explicit photos.
• Public humiliation: Posting or threatening to post private photos, messages, or hurtful comments online.
• Fake accounts: Using multiple or fake profiles to maintain unwanted contact.
• Privacy violations: Accessing a partner’s phone or accounts without permission.

Impacts of Teen Dating Violence

Victims of Teen Dating Violence often face long-term consequences, such as:

• Declining self-esteem and confidence.
• Increased risk of anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation.
• Physical symptoms like headaches, stomach aches, or disrupted sleep patterns.
• Poor academic performance and reduced school attendance.

What You Can Do
If you or someone you know is experiencing digital abuse or other forms of teen dating violence, here are steps you can take to provide support:

• Pay attention to red flags: Observe any signs of unhealthy behaviors and discuss your concerns openly and calmly.
• Set healthy boundaries: Help them understand the importance of privacy and encourage setting limits on over-monitoring or controlling behaviors.
• Start a conversation: Approach the topic in a non-judgmental and supportive way to show you care and want to help.
• Encourage open communication: Suggest that they talk to a trusted adult, school counselor, or professional counselor to share their experiences and seek guidance.
• Safety planning: Assist them in taking proactive steps, such as:
  • Blocking abusive accounts.
  • Changing passwords to secure their online profiles and devices.
  • Limiting interactions with the abuser, both online and offline.

Resources for Help

• Teen Talk Textline: Text 215-703-8411 or call 866-825-5856 (1:00–9:00 PM) or visit their website
• Love is Respect: Text “loveis” to 22522 or visit loveisrespect.org.
• National Domestic Violence Hotline: Website: thehotline.org; Call: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233); Text: Text “START” to 88788
• Laurel House Hotline: Call 1-800-642-3150 for 24/7 support, including safety planning, counseling, and emergency shelter.
• Trusted adults: Talk to teachers, school counselors, or other trusted adults for guidance.