The Center for Neuropsychology and Counseling

Simply put, emotion regulation skills help us to manage and respond to an emotional experience in a productive way. When we know what we feel and why we feel that way, we are in a much better place to navigate a challenging situation and prepare for what is next to come.

Here are some tips to help you better understand and regulate your emotions:

Recognize your early warning signs 

As mentioned above, our emotions are usually accompanied by a physical reaction. It is helpful to catch these feelings in our body early on and before they overwhelm us. Take a moment now and ask yourself, “Where do I tend to feel my emotions?” Does your face become flushed? Does your stomach start to hurt? Does your chest get tight? These physical sensations can be thought of as hints that tell us that we are experiencing an emotion. The sooner we recognize these early warning signs, the sooner we can understand, regulate, and resolve our emotion. With practice, you may even be able to prevent big emotional reactions from happening in the first place!

Slow down and try to avoid jumping to conclusions

When we are experiencing a big emotion, it can feel impossible to think clearly. Take a few deep breaths and think of something else you can put your attention on for a brief moment. In order to properly work through an emotional experience, you have to calm yourself down so that you have the mental clarity to do some critical thinking.

Consider which emotion(s) you may be experiencing and then label your emotion(s)

It is important to identify what emotion or emotions you are feeling. Once you put a name to what you are feeling, you have valuable information. If you know what emotion you’re feeling, you’re one step closer to understanding what triggered you and why you are feeling that way.

Observe, observe, observe! Be a detective! 

Observe what is happening around you and consider what happened right before you started feeling that given emotion. Usually, the thing or event that occurred right before your emotional experience is what triggered you in the first place. Pay close attention to thoughts that you may be experiencing as this will also give you insight into why you are feeling some type of way.

Ask yourself, “What do I want to get out of this situation?”

You’ve upgraded to problem solver! Now that you know what you’re feeling and why you are feeling that way, consider what actions will help you get what you want. Think through possible solutions and choose the option that you feel will benefit you the most. For instance, if you are feeling sad because you just found out that you didn’t perform well on a test, you likely want to improve your grade. You should accept your feelings of sadness, but it probably won’t help if you sit in your sadness for a long period of time or come to the conclusion that you’re done trying in school. Instead, start thinking of helpful solutions. You may conclude that it is best to ask a teacher for help or study more next time.

Keep these steps in mind next time you encounter a similar situation 

You’ve proven that you can work through a challenging emotional experience. Use this thinking process to help you in future situations. You will likely find that recognizing your triggers can help you the next time you encounter them.

Summer break is necessary for many reasons, but going back school after weeks of time off can be difficult.Educators, parents, and students alike can feel the pressure of what it means to start a new school year. There are countless questions and unknowns when August comes around the corner. Students begin to have questions such as, “Who will my teacher be?” and “Who will I sit next to at lunch?” These questions are normal, but they begin to consume our minds and unfortunately, take our attention away from the remaining weeks of summer. This time of year is undoubtedly challenging for any student, but it can be equally as hard for parents to support their children who experience back to school anxiety.

Here are some tips to keep in mind during this back-to-school season:

• Assure your child that is okay to not have all the answers right away

Sadly, we can never have all the answers to our questions. It is important to normalize your child’s back to school anxiety by letting your child know that they are not alone and by telling your child that is it okay to feel this way. The nervous butterflies that they are experiencing in their stomach are normal! Remind your child that some uncertainty is good. Uncertainty can often lead to some of the best surprises.

• Take off some of the pressure your child may be
  experiencing

Getting back into the rhythm of things can be hard. After all, a summer off from schoolwork can make us rusty when it comes to taking that first test or handing in that first book report. Children often have high expectations for themselves. I mean, who wouldn’t want straight A’s? However, it is difficult to be our very best self at the beginning of the year. Help your child manage their expectations and remind them that good things take time. In the beginning of the year, just getting through the day or the week should be good enough.

• Help your child establish a routine in the days leading
  up to school

The new school year can feel far out of your child’s control. Help your child achieve a sense of control by assisting them in creating a back-to-school routine. It will be useful to start thinking about an appropriate bedtime and how long it will take your child to get ready in the morning. Summertime gives us the luxury of going to bed later and sleeping in, but it is extremely

important for your child to get about 8-10 hours of sleep each night so that they are refreshed and prepared to learn this year’s class materials. It can be helpful to practice your child’s new routine a couple of times so that they can go into that first day of school feeling like a pro!

• Identify a few safe people at school that they can go to
  for help

There are many school staff members that can be of assistance and there should be no shame in asking for help. Asking for help assists us in learning! It can be beneficial to ask your child to identify 1-2 people that they can go to if they need support at school. The school nurse or guidance counselor are great options and can be excellent resources at the beginning of the year.

• Take advantage of special events that your child’s school
  may offer

Your child’s school knows that this can be a hard time of the year. Knowing this, schools often offer a “Get to Know Your Teacher” event before school starts. Even though you and your child may not want to be reminded of school, it is important to go to events like these so that your child can have exposure to their new teacher, classroom, building, etc. If your child’s school does not offer an event like this, there is no harm in asking the main office or your child’s teacher if you and your child can visit the school before their first day. Teachers and school staff want to make sure your child is comfortable too!

• Make this time of year fun

The start of a school year can be viewed as a time of excitement as well. There are countless possibilities at the beginning of a school year. A new year can be indicative of new friendships, knowledge, interests, and hobbies. Also, who doesn’t love to pick out their new backpack, colored pencils, and pens? Use back to school shopping as a way to make your child excited to start this new journey.

• Lean on other parents, friends, and professionals for
  support

You are not alone in worrying about your child. It is normal to want to do everything in your power to make them feel excited, confident, and prepared for that first day of school. Take advantage of your support system during this time. If your child is struggling with anxiety about returning to school or if they are experiencing anxiety about anything else, please reach out to a therapist like myself at The Center. I’d be happy to support you and be part of your team!