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Dr. J. Stone

Rejuvenate your Relationships:

Applying the Gottman Method, by Emily Israel, M.S.

Relationships can provide us with comfort, security, enjoyment, pleasure, love, companionship, support, safety, and care. However, we can feel very distressed when our relationships lack these positive experiences. Most of us have experienced challenges in relationships with a partner or loved one at some point. There are ways to support the development of healthy relationships, as well as ways to help a relationship that has become more conflictual become healthy once again.

John Gottman, Ph.D., and his wife Julie Gottman, Ph.D. spent many years researching aspects that support healthy couple relationships and found tools that can benefit both couples and other relationships.

Ways to support a healthy relationship according to Gottman Research: 

  • Get to know the other person’s needs, values, past experiences, priorities, and stresses.
  • Experience and express love to those with whom you share a relationship (more specific to romantic partners but can apply to other loved ones). 
  • Turn towards your loved one and respond when they engage you. Create opportunities to spend time together to support the building of connection.
  • Try to view the person from a positive perspective.
  • Management of Conflict
    • Engage in active listening skills to develop empathy: listen intently to the person’s feelings and acknowledge them by validating and summarizing what you heard them say. 
    • Avoid defensiveness: Take accountability and create an improvement plan. Acknowledge your role in an argument and pick one way you might make it better.
    • Avoid attacking the other person’s character or criticizing them: Start with “I feel” and describe what created the feeling without attacking without directing at them and share what you need to feel better.
    • Resist Stonewalling: Stonewalling is when we become frustrated in a conflict and we walk away from our significant other or withdraw. When you are tempted to tune out a loved one, consider engaging in self-soothing techniques and taking a timed break to give yourself time to calm down instead. This break should be no more than 24 hours and is meant to bring down each person’s heart rate so that you can re-engage effectively.  
  • Discuss future dreams and understand each other’s goals to create shared meaning.
  • When one person is stressed about something such as an incident at work, unrelated to the relationship, join in on how they feel and support their position on the issue.
  • Demonstrate trust and commitment to one another.

If you would like to develop these skills further and rejuvenate any of your relationships, please contact us at the Center.

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Annual BIAPA Conference

Are you planning on attending the Annual BIAPA Conference in Lancaster? They offer family and survivor scholarships to cover the cost of the conference.

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If you are a family member, survivor, or care provider please click here:

2017 Scholarship Information & Application

If you don’t already know about the Brain Injury conference, please visit the BIAPA website for more information.

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TONIGHT – Strategies for Accepting Difficult Emotions

 

The Elkins Park Satellite of CHADD Adults with ADHD presents:

Strategies for Accepting Difficult Emotions

Lorna Jansen Darcy Lindy March 21 2017 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DATE: TUESDAY, MARCH 21, 2017

TIME: 7PM – 8:30 PM

PLACE: EINSTEIN HOSPITAL/MOSS REHAB CONFERENCE ROOM G1

60 TOWNSHIP LINE ROAD ELKINS PARK, PA 19027

 

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March is Brain Injury Awareness Month

March is Brain Injury awareness month, so it seems appropriate to discuss some memory strategies. Memory is defined as “the ability to recall events on command.” We all would love to have better memories, however, sometimes life events occur that alter this ability, but there are strategies that can help.

 

Adapt your environment: Hang a dry erase board in your kitchen or office to write down reminders or needed grocery items. You can also keep a dry erase calendar in a central area of your house or office to keep track of your daily/weekly activities. Some of you may be saying that you already do this on your Smart Phone, which is great, but for some folks after a brain injury, they need to “see” reminders to help improve memory skills – a visual reminder. If you want to use your Smart Phone for reminders, make sure to alarm your reminders. You could even set a daily alarm to remind yourself to look at your schedule! If Smart Phones are confusing, you can carry a datebook and get in the habit of reviewing the datebook every morning to review your day’s activities. Make sure you put things back in the same spot (e.g. keys on the hook by the door, coat in the closet, briefcase on the desk in the home office, bills in a basket, etc.) this will help build a routine of where items are to be found and it will significantly decrease your frustration when searching for the items (especially if you are in a hurry!). Routines are very important for memory because they help build long term memories, which is where information we want to retrieve exists.

 

Improve your wellbeing: Anxiety, stress and depression can significantly decrease memory skills. You need to have a balance between work and relaxation, so seek out/plan enjoyable activities outside of your work day. Maintain friendships and talk about your difficulties and frustrations, you never know who will give you some good strategy suggestions! Stay physically active, even simple exercises like taking the stairs instead of the elevator can help. Be assertive; learn to say “no” to excessive demands. This one is really important, manage you time and take breaks. Sometimes after sustaining a brain injury people want to “push” themselves to get better, but this is actually counterproductive. Your body and brain need time to heal and taking breaks is the best way to make progress. Do one thing at a time; establish a goal and break the steps down into smaller, more manageable parts.

 

Other helpful cognitive strategies: Attention is the key to a better memory, so try to focus on information you want to remember and reduce the background distractions. When trying to remember new information, make associations with existing information in your memory. Mentally retrace your steps to trigger your memory for where you may have left an item. Hang reminder signs or use sticky notes to trigger memories of activities you want/need to do. When trying to recall a list of items, chunk the like items together to be able to recall them more easily.

 

As a neurorehabilitation specialist I have taught many of these strategies to my clients over the years and the majority had a lot of success. Recovering from a brain injury can take time, but using strategies consistently can definitely help.

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Carol Bardsley, M.A., CPCRT, CBIS – At The Center I facilitate the Therapeutic Activities Group, which is an educational group for people who have sustained a traumatic brain injury.  I also provide one-on-one Cognitive Rehabilitation Therapy to clients either in their homes or in our office. In addition, I assist Dr. J. Stone with the neuropsychological evaluations.

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Strategies to Help Parents, Caregivers and Educators Manage Children’s Sensory and Behavioral Challenges

 

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Theraplay and Jean Ruttenberg have a free workshop on Tuesday, March 14that 7pm.

If you are interested in attending, please RSVP to Lauren Toolan at ltoolan@theraplayinc.com by March 6th.

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The Science of Concussion in the Schools

Dr. Stone will be a part of an Inaugural School Concussion Conference titled: The Science of Concussion in the Schools, held by Bucks County IU and Centennial School District.

This conference is on January 24th from 9am-3:15pm at William Tennant High School.

Act 48 Hours or Workshop Hours are available.

To register and for more information, please click on the link below:
http://www.bucksiu.org

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