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Stop Tearing Down and Start Building:

by Lorna Jansen, PsyD August 29, 2025

5 Ways to Enrich your Relationship Today

Frustrated by the way your relationships are going? Feeling like you’re always at odds with someone at home or at work? Here are a handful of tips you can use to revitalize your relationships and improve your interactions with others.

1. Look for the positives and focus on the other person’s strengths. For example, you might start by noticing how well your spouse manages his or her job, commitments at home, balance between free time and family time, or anything else. As you observe him or her, begin commenting about what you’ve seen like this: “You do a really good job with __________” or “I’m impressed that you were able to accomplish _________ today.” Dr. John Gottman says the magic ratio is 5 positive interactions for every 1 that is negative. In order to compensate for the inevitable bumps along the way, make a concerted effort to recognize the positive qualities of those around you each and every day.

2. Employ active listening skills. Active listening initially includes paying attention, withholding judgment and reflecting the other person’s words by repeating them back to him or her. This is especially important—and challenging—when there is conflict. As you take the time to slow down and focus on your co-worker’s point of view, you may find yourself less focused on making your case and more willing to reach a mutually beneficial solution. If you want additional information on this topic, look here: https://www.ccl.org/multimedia/podcast/the-big-6-an-active-listening-skill-set/

3. Take care of yourself. As you are able, focus on eating well, getting enough sleep, drinking water throughout the day, exercising, and managing your stress. This will have a positive impact on yourself and everyone around you. If you need help remembering to do these things, enlist some support partners. You might also use an app like Wunderlist to organize your goals and set reminders.

4. Look for common interests and seek to engage in those whenever possible. When you think of your relationships, consider whether there are any favorite activities, interests, or even favorite foods that could bring you and the people you love together. For example, you might consider setting up weekly, bi-weekly or monthly dates to spend time with each of your children. Enlist their help to come up with ideas of things they’d like to do or explore with you, and work your way through the list you compose.

5. Before you speak, consider the things you often say. If you are frequently at odds with someone in your life, think about the phrases you find yourself repeating to that person. Perhaps you need to change what you are saying so your family member can really hear the message. For example, if you find that you are constantly telling your dad that he’s embarrassing you in some way, maybe you could tell him some things you appreciate about him (see #1) and then give him a few tips about what he could say or do when he’s around your friends.

These five tips may seem simple, but will require a concerted effort on your part. If it seems overwhelming to implement all five at once, start with the one that seems the most likely to create positive change and work your way through the rest as you are able. Though you may encounter resistance at first, you will soon notice small differences in the relational atmosphere. If you or someone in your life would benefit from the help of a psychologist as you work to improve your relationships, please call our office at 215.491.1119.

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Seeking Help This Summer?

by Lorna Jansen, PsyD May 27, 2025

5 Steps to Find the Right Mental Health Provider

For many reasons, the summer can be just the right time to seek out mental health care. For children and adults who are in school, classes and extracurriculars tend to scale back, allowing for more flexibility with scheduling . Mental health providers often have more openings in the summer, as their existing clients go on vacation or change up their routines. And, sometimes, clients simply have more mental space to reflect upon their experiences and what they’d like to change. If you are seeking help this summer, consider these five steps to find the right mental health provider for you:

  1. Define your objective. What do you really need? A therapist to help you manage the stress of a new job or new relationship? Someone who does family therapy that can help you all adjust to the loss of a loved one? A psychologist to evaluate your child because something seems to be holding them back at school? Once you know the kind of help you need, you can start to look for someone who specializes in those areas. Psychology Today has a great therapist finder that can help you search for the right provider.
  1. Consider your money and time. You could find the perfect therapist who ticks all of the boxes you created above, but if they don’t line up with your finances and availability, you’ll be back to square one. If you’re looking for someone who takes your insurance, you can either call their customer service line or go on their website to find providers who are “in network.” Other providers may be considered “out of network” but can still provide you with a superbill so that you can submit to your insurance and utilize your out-of-network benefit or work towards meeting your deductible (this is true for us at the Center). If you’re only available on certain days or times, be sure to ask if the therapist has consistent openings that work with your schedule. 
  1. Location, location, location. While many mental health providers now offer telehealth appointments, some clients prefer to meet in person, at least some of the time. Consider how far you’d like to drive if you will be meeting in person. If you are looking for someone to see you virtually, you may still have to find someone who is licensed in the state where you reside and where you’ll be located when you meet for appointments. There are some exceptions to this for licensed psychologists who are authorized to practice telepsychology in multiple states through PSYPACT (list of providers: https://psypact.gov/page/Directory). The Center has several psychologists who are able to see clients in the 40+ states that participate in PSYPACT—colored dark blue on the map: https://psypact.gov/page/psypactmap. When you see a psychologist with PSYPACT, you can meet virtually from anywhere, such as your residence, a vacation home, or your dorm room at college, as long as you are still located in one of the approved states.
  1. Reflect on other elements. Some clients like to talk with therapists who share a similar faith or have other interests. Be aware of your own values and any non-negotiables you might have. You may even be able to enter some of these factors into the search engine you’re using. When you go in for your first session, be sure to mention the reasons why you came to see that particular provider.
  1. Meet the individual you’ve selected. How does the therapist fit with you and anyone else you’ve brought to the session? While it’s normal to feel some discomfort while talking about difficult issues, it’s important to consider whether or not you feel uncomfortable with the therapist. Like any other relationship, trust is an essential element of mental health treatment. If you don’t feel the clinician is a good fit for you or your child, you can try another session or two or ask for a referral to another provider.

The mental health providers at the Center are here to provide you or a loved one with therapy or assessment services this summer. Call 215-491-1119 to schedule an appointment!

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Resilience During Times of Stress and Uncertainty

by Courtney Franklin, MS January 21, 2025
Courtney Blog Post Tan 1
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Suicide Prevention: What to Know

by Stacey Gagliano, PhD September 9, 2024

Part 1: Children/Adolescents

Suicidal ideation is a serious concern that affects individuals across all ages and backgrounds. Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the United States. In 2021, suicides nearly doubled the number of homicides in the U.S. and in 2022, it was the second leading cause of death for those aged 10-14 and 25-34, and the third for those aged 15-24. Unfortunately, suicide rates have seen a troubling increase over recent years. From 2000 to 2018, the rate of suicides in the U.S. rose by 37%. 

Understanding who is at risk and recognizing the warning signs can be crucial in preventing tragedy and providing timely help. In this two-part blog, we’ll explore key factors that contribute to an increased risk for suicidal ideation, important warning signs to be aware of, as well as what you can do if someone you know is struggling with these thoughts and feelings.

Who is at Risk? – Youth

  • Identity questions: Struggles with sexual or gender identity can lead to increased risk.
  • Victims of bullying.
  • Access to lethal means: Availability of firearms or other means can heighten risk. Firearms were involved in over 50% of all suicide deaths in 2022.
  • History of self-harm or previous attempts.
  • Mental health diagnoses such as anxiety and depression, and/or struggles with chronic medical conditions.
  • Recent loss: Youth experiencing significant losses are at higher risk.
  • Witness to violence or family history of suicide.
  • Lack of social support: can increase feelings of isolation.
  • Lack of access to mental health resources or services.
  • Stigma: Cultural or societal stigma around seeking help can prevent individuals from reaching out.

Recognizing the Warning Signs

  • Verbal threats of death, seeking access to weapons, and/or talk of death/dying
  • Hopelessness and rage: Feelings of despair, rage, or seeking revenge
  • Changes: Neglecting personal appearance, changes in appetite, and/or withdrawing from friends/family
  • Engaging in reckless behavior
  • Feeling trapped: A sense of being trapped with no way out
  • Making arrangements: Preparing for end-of-life matters, like updating a will or saying goodbye
  • Increased substance use
  • Mood swings: Dramatic changes in mood or personality
  • Loss of purpose: Feeling that life has no meaning or purpose

What Can I Do to Help?

If you are the parent/guardian of a child who struggles with or is at risk for suicidal ideation,

  • Take steps to reduce access to lethal means in your home.
    • Remove all firearms from the home, or at a minimum, ensure that they are all locked and inaccessible to your child. Store bullets separate from the guns.
    • Secure all medications and sharp objects in your home as well.
  • Seek the support of a mental health provider. Ensure that an appropriate safety plan is created.
  • In the case of an emergency, call 911 or bring your child to your nearest emergency room for an evaluation. You may also wish to contact mobile crisis intervention services in your area.

Hotlines

  • Suicide Prevention Lifeline:  Call or text 988
  • Crisis Text Line: Text TALK to 741-741
  • National de Prevencion del Suicidio:  1-888-628-9454
  • The Trevor Project (Crisis line for LGBTQ+ youth): 1-866-488-7386
  • National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: 1-866-331-9474
  • The National Runaway Safeline: 800-RUNAWAY (800-786-2929)

Check our social media for more resources and useful information.

Sources

Part 2: Adults

Understanding who is at risk and recognizing the warning signs can be crucial in preventing tragedy and providing timely help. In the following blog, you will find risk factors and ways to help that are specific to adults. For more information on this topic, please see the previous blog on Suicide Prevention in Youth.

Who is at Risk? – Adults:

  • Comorbid Diagnoses: People with multiple mental health conditions are at higher risk.
  • History of Self-Harm or Previous Attempts: Past behaviors are strong indicators of future risk.
  • Recent Losses: Significant life changes, such as losing a job, facing financial difficulties, or experiencing the death of a loved one, can increase vulnerability.
  • Chronic Problems: Ongoing issues with the legal system, unemployment, or troubled relationships can exacerbate mental distress.
  • Physical Disorders: Conditions affecting the central nervous system, such as epilepsy, Alzheimer’s Disease, or spinal cord injuries, can heighten risk.
  • Other Medical Diagnoses and Chronic Pain: Chronic illnesses like cancer, autoimmune diseases, or HIV/AIDS also play a role.
  • Substance Use: Abuse of alcohol or drugs significantly raises the risk of suicidal thoughts.

What Can I Do to Help?

Recognizing these signs early and offering support can make a significant difference. See the previous blog on Suicide Prevention in Youth for a full list of warning signs.

If you or someone you know is exhibiting these signs, seek professional help immediately. Suicide prevention is a community effort, and being informed is the first step towards making a difference. If someone you know is at risk:

  • Be sure to check in with them regularly.
  • Be a supportive listener and do not jump to problem solving.
  • Focus on validating their feelings and reminding them that you are there for them.
  • Provide them with resources (can be found below).
  • In the event of an emergency, of course, dial 911. You may also wish to contact mobile crisis intervention services in your area.

Hotlines

  • Suicide Prevention Lifeline:  Call or text 988
  • Crisis Text Line: Text TALK to 741-741
  • National de Prevencion del Suicidio:  1-888-628-9454
  • National Domestic Abuse Hotline:  1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
  • The Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender National Hotline: (888) 843-4564
  • Trans Lifeline: (877) 565-8860

Check our social media for more resources and useful information.

Sources

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Rejuvenate your Relationships:

by The Center in PA August 6, 2024

Applying the Gottman Method, by Emily Israel, M.S.

Relationships can provide us with comfort, security, enjoyment, pleasure, love, companionship, support, safety, and care. However, we can feel very distressed when our relationships lack these positive experiences. Most of us have experienced challenges in relationships with a partner or loved one at some point. There are ways to support the development of healthy relationships, as well as ways to help a relationship that has become more conflictual become healthy once again.

John Gottman, Ph.D., and his wife Julie Gottman, Ph.D. spent many years researching aspects that support healthy couple relationships and found tools that can benefit both couples and other relationships.

Ways to support a healthy relationship according to Gottman Research: 

  • Get to know the other person’s needs, values, past experiences, priorities, and stresses.
  • Experience and express love to those with whom you share a relationship (more specific to romantic partners but can apply to other loved ones). 
  • Turn towards your loved one and respond when they engage you. Create opportunities to spend time together to support the building of connection.
  • Try to view the person from a positive perspective.
  • Management of Conflict
    • Engage in active listening skills to develop empathy: listen intently to the person’s feelings and acknowledge them by validating and summarizing what you heard them say. 
    • Avoid defensiveness: Take accountability and create an improvement plan. Acknowledge your role in an argument and pick one way you might make it better.
    • Avoid attacking the other person’s character or criticizing them: Start with “I feel” and describe what created the feeling without attacking without directing at them and share what you need to feel better.
    • Resist Stonewalling: Stonewalling is when we become frustrated in a conflict and we walk away from our significant other or withdraw. When you are tempted to tune out a loved one, consider engaging in self-soothing techniques and taking a timed break to give yourself time to calm down instead. This break should be no more than 24 hours and is meant to bring down each person’s heart rate so that you can re-engage effectively.  
  • Discuss future dreams and understand each other’s goals to create shared meaning.
  • When one person is stressed about something such as an incident at work, unrelated to the relationship, join in on how they feel and support their position on the issue.
  • Demonstrate trust and commitment to one another.

If you would like to develop these skills further and rejuvenate any of your relationships, please contact us at the Center.

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Recognizing Different Presentations of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

by Brittany Keim, LPC May 9, 2024

Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is characterized by obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are recurrent and persistent thoughts or images; whereas, compulsions are behavioral or mental actions that are performed to reduce the distress or discomfort that an individual experiences. In simpler terms, an obsession is something that you cannot stop thinking about regardless of how hard you try to stop and a compulsion is a behavior that gives you short-term relief from your obsession. For instance, an individual may experience obsessions about their safety when they leave the house. In an effort to decrease their feelings or distress, that individual may stay home and this action will act as a compulsion because it is directly related to a decrease in anxiety or discomfort.

When thinking about OCD, it is important to remember that obsessions and compulsions have to result in significant distress and impairment. This means that obsessions and/or compulsions are time consuming and take away from your ability to participate in everyday activities. Significant distress and impairment may look like being late to school, skipping work, not being able to participate in activities that you once found enjoyable, etc.

Obsessive compulsive disorder is often thought of as excessive hand washing and a fear of contamination or germs, but OCD has many other presentations that can be overlooked. Knowledge of these other presentations is helpful in obtaining a correct diagnosis and receiving effective treatment. Below, I will detail common OCD subtypes, but please note that this is not an exhaustive list of presentations.

Harm OCD – involves intrusive thoughts of harming others or committing a violent act. People fear they could lose control at any moment and engage in violent behaviors. Due to this fear, individuals with this subtype of OCD may engage in significant avoidance. They may avoid interacting with others or completing everyday tasks that pose a risk (e.g., chopping vegetables).

Postpartum OCD – characterized by unwanted thoughts of harming a newborn. Individuals who experience this presentation will often avoid interacting with their baby or they will refrain from engaging in actions that are essential in taking care of a newborn (e.g., changing a diaper).

“Just Right” OCD – obsessions are thoughts and/or feelings that something is not quite right or that something is incomplete. Those who struggle with this subtype of OCD, will often wait to complete a task until it feels “right” or they will excessively engage in a behavior until it feels “right.”

Scrupulosity OCD – strict adherence to religious principles or moral ideals. Individuals will hold themselves to high moral/religious standards and feel extreme guilt or anxiety when they fall short. Some examples of compulsions are: excessively reading scripture or not allowing oneself to enjoy interests in fear that this could be considered sinful.

Relationship OCD – described as repetitive thoughts that center on doubts or fears about the relationship. The person may experience uncertainty and obsess about whether their partner really loves them or whether the relationship will last. A common compulsion related to this subtype is seeking reassurance.

Pedophilia OCD – this subtype of OCD occurs in individuals who have no desire to harm children, but are plagued with worry that they may do so. Individuals may become concerned with their thoughts towards children and/or they may fear that they may interact with a child in a way that is deemed inappropriate.

If you are currently experiencing symptoms of OCD and relate to any of the above presentations, you are not alone. Exposure with response prevention (ERP) is an evidence-based approach to treatment that has been proven to be very effective in treating OCD. Through ERP, an individual will learn to navigate their obsessions and decrease unwanted compulsions that interfere with their everyday functioning. Reach out to The Center today to learn more about receiving treatment for OCD.

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