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Staying Grounded in a Digital World

Social media is woven into our everyday lives. For many teens, young adults, and parents, scrolling has become a common way to relax, stay connected with others, and “catch up” on what’s happening in the world. While social media has its upsides, it can quietly affect our mental health in ways we may not notice. For example, you might find yourself feeling more self-conscious, distracted, restless, or less content after scrolling – subtle signs that your time online may be influencing your mood and overall well-being.

The good news? You don’t need to delete your social media to feel better! Making a few small tweaks in your online engagement can make a big difference in protecting your mental health. 

  1. Check in with yourself while you scroll 

Do you notice that some accounts leave you feeling inspired, while others leave you feeling anxious or drained? After spending time online, take a moment to check-in with your mind and body – how do you feel? Your emotional state after engaging with content can offer valuable insight into how your feed on social media is affecting your mental health.  

As you become more aware of how scrolling affects you, practice noticing it in real time. Social media activates reward pathways in the brain, which can make it difficult to stop scrolling even when it’s no longer enjoyable or starts to cause mental strain. To stay intentional, find ways to prompt yourself for brief “check-ins.” For example, try setting a 15-minute timer when you open an app. When it goes off, pause to notice how you feel: are you relaxed or drained? Are you scrolling on autopilot or consciously engaging with content that feels good for you? These mindful pauses can help you regain control, strengthen self-awareness, and use social media in ways that support your mental well-being. 

  1. Recognize the comparison trap

As humans, we are wired to compare ourselves – it’s part of how we make sense of the world around us. On social media, most people share their “highlights,” which rarely reflect their day-to-day reality. This can distort our perception, leading us to measure ourselves against carefully curated and filtered versions of other people’s lives. This comparison can trigger feelings of self-doubt, anxiety, or low mood. 

If you find yourself slipping into the comparison trap, consider taking a pause to remind yourself that social media is not real life – it’s a snapshot, not the full story. This simple pause can help you shift perspective, ground yourself, and reduce the emotional impact.  

  1. Reclaim your rest

Is scrolling your go-to during down time? Is it your last activity before bed? You’re not alone. Many people appreciate the mindless distraction of scrolling, but it often doesn’t restore the mind in the way that true rest does. In fact, late-night scrolling can disrupt sleep quality and make it harder to unwind. Try setting a “last scroll” time about 30-60 minutes before bed to give you brain space to settle. 

Instead of scrolling, choose a calming, repetitive activity that helps signal to your body that it’s time to rest. This might include coloring, knitting, reading, or taking a warm shower. These gentle, low-stimulation tasks place less strain on your brain and support the natural onset of sleep, helping you to wake-up feeling more rested and clear-headed. 

Social media isn’t inherently harmful – it’s an important tool in our everyday lives. The key to healthy online engagement is awareness. By noticing how social media affects your mood, challenging moments of comparison, and setting intentional boundaries around when you use it, you can cultivate a healthier relationship with social media. These small adjustments can protect your mental health and help you use technology in ways that support, rather than drain, your well-being.  

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The Importance of Anger

When most people think of anger, they imagine outbursts, harsh words, or slammed doors. Anger is often treated as something to be controlled or avoided. But anger is not always the problem. More often, it is a signal. It is less about destruction and more about protection. Think of anger as the bouncer outside the nightclub of your emotions. The bouncer is not warm, gentle, or vulnerable. His job is to look tough, to keep trouble out, and to make sure no one gets too close to what is inside. Anger works in the same way. It stands guard, shielding the softer and more fragile feelings that live within us—hurt, fear, sadness, and grief. 

Anger as Protection

Anger often arrives quickly and forcefully, but rarely is it the whole story. Beneath anger, there is almost always something more tender. It might be the pain of feeling dismissed or unworthy, the fear of abandonment or failure, or the sorrow of losing something important. Showing those deeper feelings can leave us feeling exposed or unsafe. So anger steps forward. It says, “Stay away. You will not see what I am holding inside.” Anger does its job well, but when it is the only emotion we recognize, we risk losing touch with our true experience.

The Invitation Behind Anger

When anger shows up, it is not only there to defend. It is also there to invite us inward. If we can pause and ask ourselves, “What is my anger protecting?” we may find something essential waiting to be acknowledged. Sometimes anger is covering hurt, a wound to our dignity or our sense of belonging. Sometimes it shields fear, the sense that we may lose someone or something we depend on. Sometimes it guards grief, the quiet ache of loss that has not yet found its voice. By moving through anger and into the feelings it protects, we allow ourselves to respond with greater honesty, both to ourselves and to others.

Meeting Anger with Curiosity

The next time anger rises, try meeting it with curiosity rather than resistance. Notice its presence and even thank it for protecting you. Then gently ask yourself what lies beneath it. What softer emotion is the bouncer guarding? As you make space for the pain, fear, or grief that rests underneath, you begin to open the door to deeper self-understanding. Anger becomes less of an enemy and more of a guide, pointing you toward the emotions that most need your care.

Why This Matters

If anger is the only voice we express, our relationships often become strained and cycles of defensiveness grow stronger. But when we recognize anger as a protector of something more vulnerable, we gain the chance to meet ourselves and others with compassion. Anger is not the last word. It is the bouncer reminding us that something precious is inside. Something worth noticing. Something worth protecting. And most importantly, something worth feeling.

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Diving Into Depression: The Role of Introjected Anger and Resentment

Depression is a complex mental health condition that affects millions worldwide. While often linked to biochemical imbalances, situational factors, and genetic predispositions, emotional experiences and internalized feelings also play a crucial role in its development. One such factor is the introjection of anger and resentment, which can significantly contribute to depressive symptoms.

What Is Introjection?

Introjection is a psychological defense mechanism where individuals unconsciously incorporate feelings, attitudes, or attributes of others into their own psyche. Essentially, it involves internalizing external emotions or criticisms, often as a way to cope or avoid conflict.

How Does Introjection of Anger and Resentment Manifest?

When someone experiences anger or resentment but suppresses these feelings (perhaps due to fear of confrontation, societal expectations, or personal beliefs) they may inadvertently turn these emotions inward. This internalization can lead to a host of emotional and physical symptoms characteristic of depression, including but not limited to:

Persistent sadness or emptiness

Loss of interest or pleasure

Fatigue and low energy

Feelings of worthlessness

Self-criticism and guilt

The Link Between Suppressed Anger and Depression

Anger and resentment are natural human emotions. When these feelings are invalidated or ignored, they don’t simply disappear; instead, they can be transformed into self-directed negativity. This internalized anger can erode self-esteem, foster feelings of helplessness, and perpetuate a cycle of negative thinking. These are all hallmark signs of depression and may be seen as medication-resistant. Essentially, anger turned inward becomes depression.

Research suggests that repressing anger may impair emotional regulation, making it more challenging to process other feelings healthily. Over time, this emotional bottleneck can manifest as depressive symptoms, as the individual feels overwhelmed by unresolved internal conflicts.

The Role of Resentment

Resentment often stems from perceived injustices or unmet needs. When these feelings are not acknowledged or expressed, they can fester within, contributing to bitterness and a sense of ongoing victimization. This internalized resentment fuels negative self-perceptions and hopelessness, further deepening depressive states.

Breaking the Cycle: Healing and Self-Compassion

Addressing depression related to introjected anger and resentment involves acknowledgment and expression of genuine emotions. Therapeutic approaches like talk therapy, especially modalities such as psychodynamic therapy, emotion-focused therapy (EFT), or cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can help individuals:

Recognize suppressed feelings

Understand their origins

Develop healthier emotional expression strategies

Cultivate self-compassion and forgiveness

Mindfulness and emotional awareness practices can also help identify and release repressed emotions, creating space for healing and growth.

Conclusion

Depression is rarely caused by a single factor. The introjection of anger and resentment is a significant but often overlooked contributor to emotional suffering. By understanding and addressing these internalized emotions, individuals can begin to heal, regain their emotional well-being, and move toward a more authentic and fulfilling life.

If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can provide guidance tailored to individual needs. Remember, though hard, acknowledging difficult feelings is a vital step toward recovery and emotional well-being.

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Stop Tearing Down and Start Building:

5 Ways to Enrich your Relationship Today

Frustrated by the way your relationships are going? Feeling like you’re always at odds with someone at home or at work? Here are a handful of tips you can use to revitalize your relationships and improve your interactions with others.

1. Look for the positives and focus on the other person’s strengths. For example, you might start by noticing how well your spouse manages his or her job, commitments at home, balance between free time and family time, or anything else. As you observe him or her, begin commenting about what you’ve seen like this: “You do a really good job with __________” or “I’m impressed that you were able to accomplish _________ today.” Dr. John Gottman says the magic ratio is 5 positive interactions for every 1 that is negative. In order to compensate for the inevitable bumps along the way, make a concerted effort to recognize the positive qualities of those around you each and every day.

2. Employ active listening skills. Active listening initially includes paying attention, withholding judgment and reflecting the other person’s words by repeating them back to him or her. This is especially important—and challenging—when there is conflict. As you take the time to slow down and focus on your co-worker’s point of view, you may find yourself less focused on making your case and more willing to reach a mutually beneficial solution. If you want additional information on this topic, look here: https://www.ccl.org/multimedia/podcast/the-big-6-an-active-listening-skill-set/

3. Take care of yourself. As you are able, focus on eating well, getting enough sleep, drinking water throughout the day, exercising, and managing your stress. This will have a positive impact on yourself and everyone around you. If you need help remembering to do these things, enlist some support partners. You might also use an app like Wunderlist to organize your goals and set reminders.

4. Look for common interests and seek to engage in those whenever possible. When you think of your relationships, consider whether there are any favorite activities, interests, or even favorite foods that could bring you and the people you love together. For example, you might consider setting up weekly, bi-weekly or monthly dates to spend time with each of your children. Enlist their help to come up with ideas of things they’d like to do or explore with you, and work your way through the list you compose.

5. Before you speak, consider the things you often say. If you are frequently at odds with someone in your life, think about the phrases you find yourself repeating to that person. Perhaps you need to change what you are saying so your family member can really hear the message. For example, if you find that you are constantly telling your dad that he’s embarrassing you in some way, maybe you could tell him some things you appreciate about him (see #1) and then give him a few tips about what he could say or do when he’s around your friends.

These five tips may seem simple, but will require a concerted effort on your part. If it seems overwhelming to implement all five at once, start with the one that seems the most likely to create positive change and work your way through the rest as you are able. Though you may encounter resistance at first, you will soon notice small differences in the relational atmosphere. If you or someone in your life would benefit from the help of a psychologist as you work to improve your relationships, please call our office at 215.491.1119.

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Seeking Help This Summer?

5 Steps to Find the Right Mental Health Provider

For many reasons, the summer can be just the right time to seek out mental health care. For children and adults who are in school, classes and extracurriculars tend to scale back, allowing for more flexibility with scheduling . Mental health providers often have more openings in the summer, as their existing clients go on vacation or change up their routines. And, sometimes, clients simply have more mental space to reflect upon their experiences and what they’d like to change. If you are seeking help this summer, consider these five steps to find the right mental health provider for you:

  1. Define your objective. What do you really need? A therapist to help you manage the stress of a new job or new relationship? Someone who does family therapy that can help you all adjust to the loss of a loved one? A psychologist to evaluate your child because something seems to be holding them back at school? Once you know the kind of help you need, you can start to look for someone who specializes in those areas. Psychology Today has a great therapist finder that can help you search for the right provider.
  1. Consider your money and time. You could find the perfect therapist who ticks all of the boxes you created above, but if they don’t line up with your finances and availability, you’ll be back to square one. If you’re looking for someone who takes your insurance, you can either call their customer service line or go on their website to find providers who are “in network.” Other providers may be considered “out of network” but can still provide you with a superbill so that you can submit to your insurance and utilize your out-of-network benefit or work towards meeting your deductible (this is true for us at the Center). If you’re only available on certain days or times, be sure to ask if the therapist has consistent openings that work with your schedule. 
  1. Location, location, location. While many mental health providers now offer telehealth appointments, some clients prefer to meet in person, at least some of the time. Consider how far you’d like to drive if you will be meeting in person. If you are looking for someone to see you virtually, you may still have to find someone who is licensed in the state where you reside and where you’ll be located when you meet for appointments. There are some exceptions to this for licensed psychologists who are authorized to practice telepsychology in multiple states through PSYPACT (list of providers: https://psypact.gov/page/Directory). The Center has several psychologists who are able to see clients in the 40+ states that participate in PSYPACT—colored dark blue on the map: https://psypact.gov/page/psypactmap. When you see a psychologist with PSYPACT, you can meet virtually from anywhere, such as your residence, a vacation home, or your dorm room at college, as long as you are still located in one of the approved states.
  1. Reflect on other elements. Some clients like to talk with therapists who share a similar faith or have other interests. Be aware of your own values and any non-negotiables you might have. You may even be able to enter some of these factors into the search engine you’re using. When you go in for your first session, be sure to mention the reasons why you came to see that particular provider.
  1. Meet the individual you’ve selected. How does the therapist fit with you and anyone else you’ve brought to the session? While it’s normal to feel some discomfort while talking about difficult issues, it’s important to consider whether or not you feel uncomfortable with the therapist. Like any other relationship, trust is an essential element of mental health treatment. If you don’t feel the clinician is a good fit for you or your child, you can try another session or two or ask for a referral to another provider.

The mental health providers at the Center are here to provide you or a loved one with therapy or assessment services this summer. Call 215-491-1119 to schedule an appointment!

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Resilience During Times of Stress and Uncertainty

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