Child Development

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Supporting Children Through Big Emotions

by Courtney Franklin, MS February 4, 2026

Emotion regulation isn’t about stopping big feelings; it’s about learning what to do with them. Kids feel emotions just as deeply as adults do, but they don’t quite have the tools to manage those feelings yet in a way that is safe and appropriate. That’s where emotion regulation comes in and where adults play a really important role.

Emotion regulation is the ability to notice, manage, and recover from emotions in a way that appropriately fits the situation. For children, this can look like hearing “no” without having a full-blown meltdown, feeling excited without losing control of their body, and being disappointed while still staying safe with their words and actions. When children struggle with emotional regulation, it often shows up in tantrum-like behaviors, such as hitting, stomping, throwing objects, or screaming. These behaviors aren’t signs of a “bad” child, but instead signs of undeveloped or what Dr. Ross Greene calls “lagging skills.” It’s also important to understand what emotion regulation isn’t. It’s not pretending everything is fine and forcing a smile during uncomfortable moments. And it’s certainly not living in a world where no one ever gets upset. Emotion regulation is about learning how to feel emotions and manage them.

Emotion regulation is a learned skill. We are not born learning how to calm ourselves down, tolerate frustration, or cope with disappointment. For children especially, this is a skill that develops slowly over time and takes lots of practice. The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain responsible for impulse control and decision making, and for children, this is still very much underdeveloped, making it difficult to pause before reacting. Before they can self-regulate, they must first co-regulate. Co-regulation is the process in which an adult helps a child regulate their emotions through connection, validation, and modeling. Adults already have more developed emotional and cognitive skills. When we stay grounded and validate a child’s experience through a calm tone, we’re essentially teaching them over time how to do this for themselves. Most parents can relate to the exhaustion and frustration that comes with frequent tantrums. Co-regulation is important because emotions can be contagious and when your child is dysregulated, your nervous system often feels it too.

Simple Strategies to Support Emotion Regulation

1. Label the Emotion

Naming feelings helps children make sense of what’s happening inside of them. For example, “It looks like you’re feeling really frustrated right now.” The key here is to validate the emotion without validating the behavior. Labeling helps show your child that you understand what they are feeling while also helping them learn to notice and name their own emotions over time.

2. Adjust your Tone

This can be incredibly hard when you’re also frustrated, but a calm voice can reduce the intensity of the child’s emotional response. Your tone can often be more regulating than your words!

3. Use a Grounding Exercise

Grounding techniques help regulate the nervous system and bring the body out of fight or flight. Practicing these techniques before a meltdown occurs makes them more accessible during hard moments. Some tools include:

· Deep breathing (belly breathing, blowing out the candles)

· Progressive muscle relaxation

· Cold stimulation (splashing cold water on the face or using an ice pack)

· A movement activity (going for a walk, stretching)

Emotion regulation is a skill children develop over time, and they need adults to help them practice in real moments. With calm co-regulation, validation, and consistency, children can build the skills necessary to navigate emotions in a healthy way.

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October is National Bully Prevention Month

by The Center in PA October 26, 2016

In recent years, bullying has become a national concern. It appears that bullying has increased in settings such as school and in our local communities. Bullying can include behaviors such as verbal and cyber threats, physical aggression and excessive teasing.

What we know about bullying is that boys and girls tend to engage in bullying, but each tend to use different forms. For example, boys are more likely to engage physical bullying, while girls are more likely to engage in verbal and cyber threats. Research indicates that there is no one cause for bullying. Some contributing factors can be negative family, school and peer environments. Both bullies and victims can be at greater risk for future emotional difficulties. An additional challenge in combating bullying is that many adults do not recognize or consider bullying to be a serious issue. Additionally, many schools still do not have programs that address bullying.

The US Department of Justice reported that younger students are more likely to be bullied than older students. Bullying appears to be more prevalent between the 5^th and 8^th grade. Other reports indicate that students with special needs, such as Autism, are especially vulnerable to bullying.

What Can Parents Do?

Parents can investigate whether their school has a preventive bullying program that goes beyond a “zero tolerance approach”. Effective school prevention programs emphasize a positive school climate with involvement and training on bullying for students, parents and faculty. This approach has proven especially effective at the elementary and middle school levels.
Parents can check their child’s social media activity on a regular basis.
Parents can keep the lines of communication open with their child with regular talks about their social and school experiences.
Parents can try to be aware of changes in their child’s behavior such as a child who becomes withdrawn, unhappy, has experienced a recent drop in grades, or demonstrates an unwillingness to attend school or go outside.

Jean Ruttenberg, MA

Jean is a well-known and respected specialist in the area of autism, ADHD and emotional disorders. She assists all age groups and is skilled at solving difficult behavior problems.

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Savor the Summer and Survive the School Year

by Lorna Jansen, PsyD August 24, 2016

Not ready for the summer to be over? Wishing the first day of school would be delayed indefinitely? Here are some quick tips to help you transition back to school as painlessly as possible.

Enjoy the rest of your summer. Instead of dreading the upcoming school year, spend your time at the beach or the pool, relaxing by yourself or with friends. Read a book, watch your favorite show, or become a tourist in your own town. Determine to make the most of what’s left of summer break.
Carry your love of summer into the school year. Think about why you most enjoy the summer. Perhaps it’s a sport or an activity that you can continue in the fall. Or maybe it’s more of a carefree mindset which allows for new hobbies, and fun explorations. Whenever possible, plan time to continue pursuing your “summer loves” even as the seasons change.
Determine to be different. Maybe the summer—or even last school year—weren’t what you hoped they’d be. What would you change? Perhaps you wished you had spent more time with your friends or tried something new this summer. Maybe last school year was a disaster and you’re hoping that new teachers, classes, and maybe some new friends will make a difference. Focus on what you can control, like your perspective, habits, friends, and activities.
Take a deep breath and relax. You have a whole year to make friends, learn algebra, and decide whether or not you like your English teacher. Prior to the first day of school, all you need to know is what kind of person you’d like to be on the first day. A pencil and notebook may be helpful, too.

These three ideas should help you to embrace the school year, despite its routines and demands. If we can help you transition to the school year or deal with any other challenges you’re currently facing, please call us here at the Center at 215.491.1119.

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The Anxious Child – How To Identify And Help

by Lorna Jansen, PsyD April 14, 2016

Anxiety is among the most prevalent mental health concerns for children. Between 15 and 20% of children and adolescents will meet criteria for anxiety disorders before the age of 18. Anxiety affects children in many ways, including:

Academically—when a child has anxiety about performance situations such as tests or public speaking, or about being separated from a caregiver, which can lead to school refusal.
Socially – when a child struggles to read aloud in the classroom, he may not be understood by fellow peers, or he may have trouble maintaining friendships if he is constantly absent from school.
Emotionally – often anxious children perceive ambiguous stimuli as threatening, and they have decreased sense of self-efficacy regarding feelings of anger, sadness, etc. They are more likely to self-blame, ruminate, and/or catastrophize.

Various anxiety disorders manifest differently in children. For example, a kid with separation anxiety disorder often looks sad, she may have difficulty concentrating and a variety of fears. This child may feel homesick, may exhibit school refusal behavior, and can become aggressive when forced to separate. A child with generalized anxiety disorder is usually concerned with academics, health problems, disasters, and harm to others. For those with social anxiety disorder, their top two fears are giving formal presentations and being in unstructured social situations (which could include talking to authority figures). These children also dislike: reading aloud, performing on a stage, athletic events, attending parties, talking with strangers, ordering food in a restaurant, and answering a question in class. Obsessive-compulsive disorder includes obsessions which are repeated and persistent thoughts that cause distress and/or compulsions, which are repetitive behaviors that the child feels he must perform. A child with specific phobia has a fear of a specific object or situation, which he may express by crying, tantrums, freezing or clinging. Kids with a panic disorder experience panic attacks and may describe feeling sick, but may not know how or why.

The following is a list of strategies for parents and teachers who are helping anxious children:

Recognize that anxiety is the most prevalent mental health concern for children and adolescents.
Ask yourself: What are you seeing in the child that seems different from what you observe in other children? Or, why does this child stand out to you?
- Where are you seeing impairment?
- Check with the family – any recent changes to the family structure? Divorce? New jobs for the parents? Recent move? Loss of a pet?
- Consider using the nurse’s office – some children need to call home occasionally to make sure everything is ok.
Write directions on the board or another visible place.
Try to provide opportunities for the child to answer a question—either aloud or on the board—that he or she may know, as a way of building confidence.
Offer the opportunity for the child to do presentations in front of smaller groups (just teacher?).
Help connect child to other students in the class.
Offer other seating options during school assemblies.
Prepare for change – substitute teachers, field trips, fire drills, etc.
Limit amount of time spent on homework.

If you need additional help, please contact The Center for Neuropsychology and Counseling or another mental health professional for assistance from a child psychology expert. The Coping Cat is a program designed to help treat anxious children aged 7 to 13, and it can be implemented in schools or with a therapist. Worry Wise Kids is a helpful website for parents and teachers alike.

To work with one of our child psychology Bucks County professionals, please request an appointment.

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Teenagers and Sleep

by Dr. J. Stone April 24, 2015

We can all agree that there are few things as satisfying as a good night of sleep. It is essential to our well-being. During sleep we heal, we learn and regain our energy. It helps us pay attention, think faster and it improves our mood. A lack of it and we become grumpy, fatigued and have difficulty concentrating. When you don’t get enough sleep, you are more likely to get injured, sick or have an accident. Drowsiness and falling asleep while driving accounts for more than 100,000 car crashes each year. According to a study by the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety, people who sleep six to seven hours a night are twice as likely to be involved in such a crash as those sleeping 8 hours or more, while people sleeping less than 5 hours increased their risk four to five times.

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