The Center for Neuropsychology and Counseling

Many believe the holidays to be a time of joy, laughter, and good food. But, so often the reality is that you’re overwhelmed, tired, and extremely on edge. In order to successfully navigate your holiday to-do list, try these 8 steps:

1. Take a deep breath in and out. Repeat as needed. As stressful circumstances pop up (family conflict, extra bills, bad weather), remember to take a moment for yourself to just breathe deeply. Count in through your nose to 5 and out through your mouth to 5.
2. Consider your values. What matters most to you this time of year? Getting your shopping done early? Spending time with certain friends or families? Certain religious or spiritual observations or rituals? Whatever it is, be sure to keep your focus on the main things you value.
3. Prioritize. Consider what must get done versus what “should” get done. Maybe your house does not need to look like a spread from Home and Garden, or your gifts do not need to resemble individual works of art. Figure out which things you are hoping to get to that are really just extra sources of stress, and agree to let them go.
4. Plan. Look at your calendar. Which weeks are the busiest and when do you have time to address cards or buy gifts or help out in the community? Write down possible days on which to accomplish various activities and what you will do each day to reach your goals. Also, consider delegating some of your tasks to friends and family who can help.
5. Talk with your loved ones. Maybe your partner’s favorite part of the holidays is watching a movie with you on New Year’s Eve. Maybe you have a fun tradition with a friend or your kids. Prioritize and plan for those things your loved ones hold especially dear this time of year.
6. Set boundaries as needed. In order to preserve your sanity, you will have to say “no” to certain demands. Perhaps you’ll need to plan to see different friends or family members on different days or weeks. Maybe you usually host a holiday, but a new job or baby is making it difficult to do so. Give yourself the flexibility you need to do what’s best for you.
7. Practice gratitude. Even in the messy moments of life (wine on the carpet again?), there is always something to be grateful for: food to eat, a place to gather, people with whom to share your life. Share your thankful spirit with those around you.
8. Remember that nothing is perfect. No holiday meal, family event, or season will be picturesque and devoid of spills, tears, or melted candles. But, in the end, it is how we overcome difficult circumstances and support one another through hard times that truly matters.

Feeling overwhelmed by the weight of daily pressures? You’re not alone. As stress levels soar in our fast-paced lives, understanding its origins and impacts is more crucial than ever.

The stress response is a natural reaction to a perceived threat, or demand, that is rooted in the body’s central nervous system (CNS). The short-term activation of the CNS is beneficial, equipping us to respond to what comes across our paths. In the optimal amounts, stress may be positively associated with learning and high performance in areas like sports and work. However, repeated and prolonged stress can lead to less positive outcomes including the development and/or exacerbation of many mental and physical conditions, including depression and anxiety, among others.

So how does one begin to differentiate between good stress (“eustress”) and bad stress (“distress”), and how does one manage it? If the following symptoms are relatable, you might be experiencing prolonged stress response.

• Frequent/chronic physical symptoms (e.g., headaches, chest pain, stomach upset, sleeping problems, recurrent illness)
• Increased difficulty with emotion regulation
• Withdrawal from social supports and activities
• Things feel out of control/inability to relax OR numbness/autopilot mode
• Exhaustion

However, addressing your stress may be easier than you think and workable into your ongoing routines…

• Get enough sleep daily (children: 9-13 hours; teens: 8-10 hours; adults: 7-9 hours)
• Balanced diet
• Regular, consistent exercise
• Breathing techniques (Box Breathing, Belly Breathing)
• Social support
• Boosting positive affect (e.g., happiness, joy, contentment, enthusiasm) by scheduling in time for pleasurable activities on a regular basis. (Note: these may vary from person to person, so find what works best for you).

If you continue to feel overwhelmed and run down by stress, consult with a mental health provider. The psychologists and therapists at The Center are well-equipped to support clients through whatever life brings.

As a psychologist, I am finding my clients are bringing up politics and the upcoming presidential election with increasing frequency and distress. Individuals of all ages appear to be affected, however, young adults and teens are particularly troubled by the constant barrage of emotionally charged ads, news stories and social media posts focused on the election and what is happening around the country and world. 

What are we experiencing?

• Anxiety 
• Intrusive thoughts and an inability to turn off our minds
• Sadness and depression
• Disrupted relationships over politics
• Fear of the future or a sense of hopelessness 
• Poor sleep
• Physical distress such as headaches, stomach upset, back and neck tension, teeth grinding
• Fatigue and a feeling of being ‘burned out’
• Anger or irritability
• Emotions going up and down
• Increased dependence on substances like alcohol, marijuana, caffeine, or other drugs
• Emotional eating or a loss of appetite 
• Inability to focus on work or school

What about the current political climate is affecting us the most?

• Our country feels very divided, unstable, hostile
• Fear of what will happen if the opposing candidate is elected; how will things change for me and my loved ones
• Danger: will someone become violent over politics? I am part of a group that feels targeted by others for violence, and political rhetoric is fueling that?
• Fear for the future of our country
• Fear for the climate
• Fears about loss of personal rights 
• Exhaustion and distress due to continuous exposure to highly emotionally charged political advertisements 
• Sadness and a sense of loss of the way things “used to be”

What can we do to cope?

• When things feel out of control, look for things you CAN control. Take action. Protect yourself. Take care of yourself and your loved ones. All of these actions can give you back a sense of control.
• Step away from the ‘news.’ There is a risk of trauma from repeated exposure. Look at more neutral unbiased sources. Don’t repeatedly watch upsetting videos or engage in ‘doom scrolling.’ Get just enough information to feel informed not inflamed. Turn off notifications so you can choose when to look at media. Set time limits on devices. Think carefully before sharing your opinions and viewpoints online.
• Use techniques such as meditation, yoga, deep breathing to turn off the Fight/Flight response and bring your body under control.
• Acknowledge that much of what you are feeling is a normal response to the realities of the world right now. It is ok to be angry, scared, sad, and tired. Name your grief and loss.
• Engage boundaries with people and places that are harmful or upsetting, not necessarily cutting people off (but that is ok if necessary) but spending less time with them or limiting what topics you will discuss. Unfollow people and pages that are inflammatory.  Follow positive social media pages that remind you of the good humans are doing, such as GoodNewsNetwork or Upworthy.
• Look for the good in the world. Look for the good in your loved ones. Participate in positive causes in your community.
• Be careful to avoid extreme, black and white thinking. Things are not ALL bad, people are not all terrible, everything isn’t ending. Remember, people can have differing views but still have a lot in common.
• Prioritize the basics of self care: sleep, hydration, nourishment, spending time outside, moving your body, spending time with people and places that are supportive and healthy
• Ask for help: look to your support system or reach out to a professional like those at The Center who have expertise to help you stay healthy during stressful times.

Simply put, emotion regulation skills help us to manage and respond to an emotional experience in a productive way. When we know what we feel and why we feel that way, we are in a much better place to navigate a challenging situation and prepare for what is next to come.

Here are some tips to help you better understand and regulate your emotions:

Recognize your early warning signs 

As mentioned above, our emotions are usually accompanied by a physical reaction. It is helpful to catch these feelings in our body early on and before they overwhelm us. Take a moment now and ask yourself, “Where do I tend to feel my emotions?” Does your face become flushed? Does your stomach start to hurt? Does your chest get tight? These physical sensations can be thought of as hints that tell us that we are experiencing an emotion. The sooner we recognize these early warning signs, the sooner we can understand, regulate, and resolve our emotion. With practice, you may even be able to prevent big emotional reactions from happening in the first place!

Slow down and try to avoid jumping to conclusions

When we are experiencing a big emotion, it can feel impossible to think clearly. Take a few deep breaths and think of something else you can put your attention on for a brief moment. In order to properly work through an emotional experience, you have to calm yourself down so that you have the mental clarity to do some critical thinking.

Consider which emotion(s) you may be experiencing and then label your emotion(s)

It is important to identify what emotion or emotions you are feeling. Once you put a name to what you are feeling, you have valuable information. If you know what emotion you’re feeling, you’re one step closer to understanding what triggered you and why you are feeling that way.

Observe, observe, observe! Be a detective! 

Observe what is happening around you and consider what happened right before you started feeling that given emotion. Usually, the thing or event that occurred right before your emotional experience is what triggered you in the first place. Pay close attention to thoughts that you may be experiencing as this will also give you insight into why you are feeling some type of way.

Ask yourself, “What do I want to get out of this situation?”

You’ve upgraded to problem solver! Now that you know what you’re feeling and why you are feeling that way, consider what actions will help you get what you want. Think through possible solutions and choose the option that you feel will benefit you the most. For instance, if you are feeling sad because you just found out that you didn’t perform well on a test, you likely want to improve your grade. You should accept your feelings of sadness, but it probably won’t help if you sit in your sadness for a long period of time or come to the conclusion that you’re done trying in school. Instead, start thinking of helpful solutions. You may conclude that it is best to ask a teacher for help or study more next time.

Keep these steps in mind next time you encounter a similar situation 

You’ve proven that you can work through a challenging emotional experience. Use this thinking process to help you in future situations. You will likely find that recognizing your triggers can help you the next time you encounter them.