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Articles/Information - The Center for Neuropsychology and Counseling

Raising Independent Children: One Choice at a Time

by Stacey Gagliano, PhD Published on: October 23, 2026

As children grow, so does their desire for independence. From a toddler insisting on choosing their own clothes to a teenager wanting more privacy, these moments are a natural and important part of development. As parents, it can sometimes be difficult to find the balance between giving children room to grow and providing the guidance they still need. Fortunately, supporting independence does not mean stepping away from parenting. It means finding new ways to support your child as their needs evolve.

Offer Choices Whenever Possible

One of the simplest ways to encourage independence is to give children opportunities to make decisions. For younger children, this might mean choosing between two outfits or deciding which book to read before bed. When necessary, offer controlled choices. This means offering two or more choices, all of which you would be comfortable with your child selecting. For example, rather than asking what they would like for dinner, let them choose between two options you are prepared to make.

As your child grows, self-expression becomes increasingly important and may warrant allowing for more flexibility in certain areas of choice. Their clothing choices, hairstyle, or bedroom decorations may not reflect your personal preferences, but these can be meaningful opportunities for your child’s unique identity development.

Encourage Responsibility at Home

Independence also involves learning to contribute to the household. Assigning age-appropriate responsibilities, such as putting away laundry, feeding a pet, or helping to empty the dishwasher, allows children to develop practical skills and a sense of responsibility.

These contributions do not necessarily need to be tied to an allowance or reward. Maintaining a home takes effort from everyone, and participating in household responsibilities is part of belonging to a family.

Create Opportunities for Connection

As children enter adolescence, conversations may become more difficult to initiate. You may start to hear “I don’t know” more often than you would care to. Rather than insisting on a face-to-face discussion, try connecting through activities they enjoy. Take a walk, play a board game, or go out to lunch together. Sometimes, teens open up more readily when talking does not feel like the primary focus.

When your child does open up, resist the urge to immediately offer solutions. Consider asking, “Would you like my advice, or would you prefer that I just listen?” Not every problem can be fixed, and not every emotion needs a solution. Sometimes, children and teens simply need reassurance that their feelings are valid and that you are willing to listen without judgment.

Model the Skills You Want to See

Children learn from what we do, not just what we say. Do your best to show them how you use flexible thinking, healthy coping strategies, and accountability in your daily life. When you make a mistake, acknowledge it and apologize if the situation calls for it. When plans change, show them how you adapt. When you feel overwhelmed, show them how you manage those emotions.

No parent handles every situation perfectly. The goal is not perfection but rather to show your children that you are doing your best, just as would expect of them.

Remember That Boundaries Still Matter

Supporting autonomy does not mean always saying yes. Sometimes, the answer will be no, and that is okay. Parents have the responsibility of preparing children to become independent adults while also protecting their health and safety.

The goal is not to eliminate boundaries, but to create opportunities for independence within them. Children can learn that their opinions and feelings matter, even when they do not get their way. By balancing freedom with guidance, parents can help children develop confidence, responsibility, and the skills they need to navigate an increasingly independent world.

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Going For It! Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Techniques to Find Direction

by Connor Pailas Published on: September 21, 2026

Part Two

As discussed back in Part One of this post, this is where we will Go For It!

Imagine your life is like a car moving along a road. The roads in question are your values. We all have our preferences for the kind of scenery we want to see as we are driving. Some views are not for us, while others are just perfect. In order to follow the roads we want to (our values), we need to have the correct directions and a key to start the engine. These next steps will help you to program in your directions and turn the key.

First we must choose a road to follow. Use your values! Which of your values do you not feel you are living by currently? Which values do you wish were more present in your day-to-day life? Name these values and keep them in mind.

Next we need to set our directions. Set SMART goals that help us to live by our values.

S – Specific actions you will take. Be as specific as possible

M – Meaningful. Actions should be guided by your values

A – Adaptive. This goal should help improve your fulfilment and quality of life

R – Realistic. This goal should be actually achievable given the context of your situation (resources, health, ability, etc…)

T – Time-framed. Set a specific time frame to help you follow through with your goal. Name a specific date and time or range when you will commit to these actions. Make sure this time is available and accurate.

Now that you have set your SMART goals, you have your directions. You know where you want to go and how to get there. All you need now is the KEY! And the key is doing it. Really try your best to go for it and follow through on your plans. Take small steps and plan for things that might get in the way of engaging in these goals. There is no shame in starting small and gaining momentum. You know yourself best; see if you can think of what might stop you from engaging in these actions. What can you do to prevent these barriers and follow through? Take note of your victories and successes (no matter how small). Once you finish one goal, set another! Try other values and domains of your life that are important to you. See how far you can take it. You are behind the wheel! The engine is on, the directions are telling you where to go, and the view is beautiful outside!

Final notes and remarks:

This is not a cure-all. While finding our values and trying to live by them can give us direction, our problems are complex and require complex solutions. It is helpful to work with someone to help you navigate this journey. I recommend seeking out a counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist to help explore your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and the things that are keeping you stuck. There’s a lot more to healing than just finding direction and going for it.

Although I use and appreciate the terms and techniques mentioned in this blog post, they are not my ideas. This blog post represents a short summary of works from other brilliant psychologists like Steven Hayes and Russ Harris. I highly recommend looking into their work on your own time to gain a further sense of these concepts and more!

Last, but certainly not least… Be kind to yourself. This is really hard work and I do not want to let that acknowledgement go unnoticed. Committing to healing, in whatever form that may be, is a massive step and even just reading this and wanting to make a change is an important accomplishment. There will be ups and downs throughout this journey, but regardless of how you may be feeling, I ask that you try to be kind to yourself for what you have been through and where you are going.

References

Harris, R. (2019). ACT made simple: An easy-to-read primer on acceptance and commitment therapy (2nd ed.). New Harbinger Publications.

Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K., & Wilson, K. G. (1999). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: An experiential approach to behavior change. New York: Guilford Press.

Think2Perform. (2025). Values Cards Exercise. Think2perform. https://www.think2perform.com/values/

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Specific Learning Disorders (SLDs): Diagnoses and Types

by Hannah Corrado Published on: September 21, 2026

Specific Learning Disorders (SLDs) are neurodevelopmental disorders that affect how the brain processes and uses information. Contrary to popular belief, it is not a measure of intelligence nor does it mean that a person cannot do academic tasks. It does mean that there are difficulties in acquiring and using basic academic skills, typically in reading, writing, and mathematics. In medical or outpatient settings, these are labeled as disorders as described in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR) while in school settings, they are labeled under the special educational classification of Specific Learning Disability and have different criteria. The DSM-5-TR criteria are as follows:

Difficulties in learning and academic skills, as indicated by the presence of at least one of the following symptoms, that have persisted for at least six months despite the provision of interventions targeting those difficulties:
- Inaccurate or slow and effortful word reading
- Difficulty in the comprehension of the meaning of what is read
- Difficulties with spelling
- Difficulties with written expression
- Difficulties mastering number sense, number facts, or calculation
- Difficulties with mathematical reasoning

There are three main types of learning disorders. Dyslexia (a commonly acceptable term synonymous with a Specific Learning Disorder in basic reading skills) is the most well-known learning disorder that impacts a person’s ability to read. This can manifest as struggling to recognize sounds within words, reading fluently, or comprehending what has been read. Dysgraphia is a term that can be used to refer to the specific learning disorder associated with writing. Individuals with this dysgraphia may make grammar or spelling mistakes, struggle to write in a structured or clear way, or find it difficult to neatly form letters on a page. Dyscalculia refers to the third specific learning disorder described, which affects a person’s mathematical abilities. Someone with this diagnosis may struggle with basic calculation, solving complex math problems, or completing multi-step mathematical tasks. Although most children with an SLD are diagnosed with dyslexia, they can also underperform in aspects of writing and mathematics.

Specific learning disorders are common. Research has estimated that 5-15% of school-age children across different cultures have an SLD in at least one of the three areas. Additionally, there is a link between SLDs and emotional difficulties. Those with a Specific Learning Disorder experience more emotional distress compared to their peers without one, possibly due to perceived feelings of inadequacy or failure even though they may be trying their best. As a result, school dropout and co-occurring depressive and anxiety symptoms are common. Therefore, assessing for an SLD when concerns arise is important so that schools can provide targeted educational accommodations for each student. The evaluation process, its results, and recommendations help prevent long-term psychological and social challenges and hopefully make learning more enjoyable for all students.

If you suspect you or your child are experiencing a learning disorder and would like to be evaluated or receive therapeutic support, please contact our office at (215) 491-1119.

Finding Direction: Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Techniques to Find Direction

by Connor Pailas Published on: July 7, 2026

Many people come to therapy looking for direction. Whether it’s wanting to navigate an issue, finding identity, processing pain, or just wanting to feel better, we all want to find answers for the things that are troubling us. The difficult part is that there is no set path to follow, no manual that gives us step-by-step directions, no easy fix or cure-all. Every person is unique which means that our problems are also unique. To this point, our problems require individual approaches. What works for your partner, friend, or colleague might not work for you (and vice versa).

While this may be true, it doesn’t make the struggles in our lives any less real. So what do we do with this?

Finding Direction

Oftentimes, when we are struggling, we become lost. We are overwhelmed by the pain, confusion, or difficulty of our current situation and come to lose sight of how we want to live our lives. This is where our values become incredibly important… They give our life meaning, helping us to live a more gratifying and fulfilling life, even through the worst storms.

Now…you might have heard about values before in school or work and are wondering “how can values help me figure out my problem?” In Hayes’ Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (also known as ACT) values are not just morals or goals, they are leading principles that guide and motivate us as we move through life. They are statements about what we stand for, what we want to be doing in life, and how we want to behave. The idea is to make conscious choices to live BY our values as much as we can! Put more simply… “is this behavior aligned with my values or not?”

Values are:

Ongoing – How we want to act on an ongoing basis (how we move through daily life)
Global Qualities – How we want to engage in these ongoing actions: thoughtfully? respectfully? skillfully?
Desired – Is this value something I actually want or is it something that I feel like I should want? (values should be truly yours regardless of societal expectations)

Important note: values can be tricky to name because we often confuse them with goals.

Goals are concrete, future-oriented outcomes like: getting a job, finding a partner, or completing school. Values are on-going and represent the principles behind our goals like: to be responsible and collaborative, to be loving and connected, to be knowledgeable and ambitious
Values are not the end to a means, but a means to an end… They are embracing the journey, not the destination!

Now that you know what values are and are not, try to think of your own values. Here’s a helpful exercise that lists some example values (there are more that aren’t mentioned here) and helps you to pick what is important to you.

(https://www.think2perform.com/values/)

While these exercises are helpful and can provide you with a good starting point, there are many values that aren’t listed and may feel more aligned with you. Spend some time thinking about your values, answering presently and truthfully… really trying to know yourself more!

…

Ok so now you know your values! These are the key to helping foster meaning and fulfillment in our lives. The next question is: “Now that I know what’s important to me, what do I do with this information?”

Stay tuned for Part Two of this post where we Go For It!

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Integrating Clinical And Classroom Data To Build A Seamless Support System: A Three-Part Series

by Brittnie Blanchard, PsyD Published on: May 18, 2026

PART 3 – The Power of Partnership: Building the Bridge Between School Teams and Private Practice

Over the previous posts in this series, we have covered two distinct yet complementary evaluation approaches to ensuring needs of individual students are identified and met. But how do schools and private practitioners bridge the gap and make use of their equally valuable perspectives and data in the service of their students and clients? Educational specialists and licensed psychologists are especially valuable when their work is coordinated, collaborative, and grounded in the mutual respect of one another’s professional expertise.

What is Care Coordination?

These efforts include shared goals, assessment, and intervention planning – with appropriate consent – that is focused on individual success which supports:

The alignment of clinical and educational goals
Appropriate accommodations and interventions
Prevention of conflicting strategies
Ensures consistent reinforcement across environments
Identification of those strategies that work (or don’t) across settings
Coordinated rather than duplicated efforts across settings

Some Real-Life Examples of Care Coordination

A family requested an evaluation from a school and then shares the outcomes with their therapist or seeks a private consultation about the results to support their child outside of school as well.
A family talks to their therapist about how to navigate the school system, including school-based evaluations and services, and the family is connected to the appropriate resources at school.
A school or family requests an independent educational evaluation (IEE) to further support a student.
Clinicians provide presentations to staff on specific topics like ADHD, developmental disorders, or mental health generally.
Educators and school evaluators inform clinicians about trends in the schools and needs for outside support.

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Integrating Clinical and Classroom Data to Build a Seamless Support System: A Three-Part Series

by Brittnie Blanchard, PsyD Published on: April 15, 2026

PART 2 – A Tale of Two Labels: One Child, Two Different Ways of Being “Identified”

If you read our previous blog entitled School vs. Psychological Evaluation: Which Path Is Right for Your Child?, you saw an overview of major differences between school-based and psychological evaluations and were introduced to the reality that educational classifications and diagnoses are not synonymous. The sections that follow will help to illustrate why that is.

Navigating the gap between a diagnosis and an educational classification is often the most frustrating part of a parent’s journey, yet it is where true advocacy begins. Often, families are confused by the use of Autism, Intellectual Disability, and Specific Learning Disability as educational classifications, given that there are diagnoses with similar labels. Many school-based evaluations also mistakenly interchange the terms “classification” and “diagnosis,” adding to the confusion. However, educational criteria (based on IDEA) for Autism, Intellectual Disability, and Specific Learning Disability are separate, distinct, and different from diagnostic criteria as you can see below. There are no diagnoses, for example, of Other Health Impairment, Emotional Disturbance, or Orthopedic Impairment. These are all educational classifications.

Comparison of IDEA and DSM-5 Criteria

	LABEL	CRITERIA
IDEA	Autism	Significant impairment in verbal and nonverbal communication.Impairment in social interaction.Characteristics evident before age 3.Must cause adverse educational impact.
	Intellectual Disability	Significantly subaverage intellectual functioning.Concurrent adaptive deficits.Manifested during the developmental period.Must cause adverse educational impact.
	Specific Learning Disability	Lack of response to evidence-based intervention OR severe gap between IQ and achievement.Must affect 1 of 8 academic domains – oral expression, listening comprehension, written expression, basic reading skills, reading fluency skills, reading comprehension, mathematics calculation, mathematics problem solving. Must cause adverse educational impact.

DSM-5	Autism Spectrum Disorder	Deficits in Social Communication & Interaction (All must be met): social-emotional reciprocity, nonverbal communication, and relationships.Restricted, Repetitive Behaviors (At least 2 must be met): stereotyped/repetitive movements, insistence on sameness, fixated interests, sensory.Significant interference with daily life.
	Intellectual Disability (Intellectual Developmental Disorder)	Deficits in Intellectual Functions: reasoning, problem-solving, planning, abstract thinking, judgment, and academic learning. IQ about 70. Deficits in Adaptive Functioning: Failure to meet developmental and sociocultural standards for personal independence and social responsibility across 3 domains (Conceptual, Social, Practical).Onset During the Developmental Period: Intellectual and adaptive deficits must have started before age 18 (during childhood).Significant interference with daily life.
	Specific Learning Disorder	Persistent academic difficulty (6+ months).Skills substantially below age expectations.Early onset (school years).Significant interference with daily life.

While a school may use a term like “Autism” or “Intellectual Disability” or “Specific Learning Disability” to describe a child’s special education eligibility, it is vital to remember that this is not a diagnosis. Having a diagnosis does not automatically qualify a child for special education, nor does an educational classification ensure that criteria will be met for a diagnosis. By understanding that an educational classification and a diagnosis are separate tools, you can ensure your child is not only “eligible” for services within the educational setting but also gain understanding of the cause(s) and mechanisms of a condition(s) to guide treatment for all areas of life.

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