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Supporting Children Through Big Emotions

by Courtney Franklin, MS February 4, 2026

Emotion regulation isn’t about stopping big feelings; it’s about learning what to do with them. Kids feel emotions just as deeply as adults do, but they don’t quite have the tools to manage those feelings yet in a way that is safe and appropriate. That’s where emotion regulation comes in and where adults play a really important role.

Emotion regulation is the ability to notice, manage, and recover from emotions in a way that appropriately fits the situation. For children, this can look like hearing “no” without having a full-blown meltdown, feeling excited without losing control of their body, and being disappointed while still staying safe with their words and actions. When children struggle with emotional regulation, it often shows up in tantrum-like behaviors, such as hitting, stomping, throwing objects, or screaming. These behaviors aren’t signs of a “bad” child, but instead signs of undeveloped or what Dr. Ross Greene calls “lagging skills.” It’s also important to understand what emotion regulation isn’t. It’s not pretending everything is fine and forcing a smile during uncomfortable moments. And it’s certainly not living in a world where no one ever gets upset. Emotion regulation is about learning how to feel emotions and manage them.

Emotion regulation is a learned skill. We are not born learning how to calm ourselves down, tolerate frustration, or cope with disappointment. For children especially, this is a skill that develops slowly over time and takes lots of practice. The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain responsible for impulse control and decision making, and for children, this is still very much underdeveloped, making it difficult to pause before reacting. Before they can self-regulate, they must first co-regulate. Co-regulation is the process in which an adult helps a child regulate their emotions through connection, validation, and modeling. Adults already have more developed emotional and cognitive skills. When we stay grounded and validate a child’s experience through a calm tone, we’re essentially teaching them over time how to do this for themselves. Most parents can relate to the exhaustion and frustration that comes with frequent tantrums. Co-regulation is important because emotions can be contagious and when your child is dysregulated, your nervous system often feels it too.

Simple Strategies to Support Emotion Regulation

1.         Label the Emotion

Naming feelings helps children make sense of what’s happening inside of them. For example, “It looks like you’re feeling really frustrated right now.”  The key here is to validate the emotion without validating the behavior. Labeling helps show your child that you understand what they are feeling while also helping them learn to notice and name their own emotions over time.

2.         Adjust your Tone

This can be incredibly hard when you’re also frustrated, but a calm voice can reduce the intensity of the child’s emotional response. Your tone can often be more regulating than your words!

3.         Use a Grounding Exercise

Grounding techniques help regulate the nervous system and bring the body out of fight or flight. Practicing these techniques before a meltdown occurs makes them more accessible during hard moments. Some tools include:

·  Deep breathing (belly breathing, blowing out the candles)

·  Progressive muscle relaxation

·  Cold stimulation (splashing cold water on the face or using an ice pack)

·  A movement activity (going for a walk, stretching)

Emotion regulation is a skill children develop over time, and they need adults to help them practice in real moments. With calm co-regulation, validation, and consistency, children can build the skills necessary to navigate emotions in a healthy way.

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Staying Grounded in a Digital World

by Anastasia Checcio, PsyD October 27, 2025

Social media is woven into our everyday lives. For many teens, young adults, and parents, scrolling has become a common way to relax, stay connected with others, and “catch up” on what’s happening in the world. While social media has its upsides, it can quietly affect our mental health in ways we may not notice. For example, you might find yourself feeling more self-conscious, distracted, restless, or less content after scrolling – subtle signs that your time online may be influencing your mood and overall well-being.

The good news? You don’t need to delete your social media to feel better! Making a few small tweaks in your online engagement can make a big difference in protecting your mental health. 

  1. Check in with yourself while you scroll 

Do you notice that some accounts leave you feeling inspired, while others leave you feeling anxious or drained? After spending time online, take a moment to check-in with your mind and body – how do you feel? Your emotional state after engaging with content can offer valuable insight into how your feed on social media is affecting your mental health.  

As you become more aware of how scrolling affects you, practice noticing it in real time. Social media activates reward pathways in the brain, which can make it difficult to stop scrolling even when it’s no longer enjoyable or starts to cause mental strain. To stay intentional, find ways to prompt yourself for brief “check-ins.” For example, try setting a 15-minute timer when you open an app. When it goes off, pause to notice how you feel: are you relaxed or drained? Are you scrolling on autopilot or consciously engaging with content that feels good for you? These mindful pauses can help you regain control, strengthen self-awareness, and use social media in ways that support your mental well-being. 

  1. Recognize the comparison trap

As humans, we are wired to compare ourselves – it’s part of how we make sense of the world around us. On social media, most people share their “highlights,” which rarely reflect their day-to-day reality. This can distort our perception, leading us to measure ourselves against carefully curated and filtered versions of other people’s lives. This comparison can trigger feelings of self-doubt, anxiety, or low mood. 

If you find yourself slipping into the comparison trap, consider taking a pause to remind yourself that social media is not real life – it’s a snapshot, not the full story. This simple pause can help you shift perspective, ground yourself, and reduce the emotional impact.  

  1. Reclaim your rest

Is scrolling your go-to during down time? Is it your last activity before bed? You’re not alone. Many people appreciate the mindless distraction of scrolling, but it often doesn’t restore the mind in the way that true rest does. In fact, late-night scrolling can disrupt sleep quality and make it harder to unwind. Try setting a “last scroll” time about 30-60 minutes before bed to give you brain space to settle. 

Instead of scrolling, choose a calming, repetitive activity that helps signal to your body that it’s time to rest. This might include coloring, knitting, reading, or taking a warm shower. These gentle, low-stimulation tasks place less strain on your brain and support the natural onset of sleep, helping you to wake-up feeling more rested and clear-headed. 

Social media isn’t inherently harmful – it’s an important tool in our everyday lives. The key to healthy online engagement is awareness. By noticing how social media affects your mood, challenging moments of comparison, and setting intentional boundaries around when you use it, you can cultivate a healthier relationship with social media. These small adjustments can protect your mental health and help you use technology in ways that support, rather than drain, your well-being.  

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The Importance of Anger

by Michael Oakley, PsyD October 7, 2025

When most people think of anger, they imagine outbursts, harsh words, or slammed doors. Anger is often treated as something to be controlled or avoided. But anger is not always the problem. More often, it is a signal. It is less about destruction and more about protection. Think of anger as the bouncer outside the nightclub of your emotions. The bouncer is not warm, gentle, or vulnerable. His job is to look tough, to keep trouble out, and to make sure no one gets too close to what is inside. Anger works in the same way. It stands guard, shielding the softer and more fragile feelings that live within us—hurt, fear, sadness, and grief. 

Anger as Protection

Anger often arrives quickly and forcefully, but rarely is it the whole story. Beneath anger, there is almost always something more tender. It might be the pain of feeling dismissed or unworthy, the fear of abandonment or failure, or the sorrow of losing something important. Showing those deeper feelings can leave us feeling exposed or unsafe. So anger steps forward. It says, “Stay away. You will not see what I am holding inside.” Anger does its job well, but when it is the only emotion we recognize, we risk losing touch with our true experience.

The Invitation Behind Anger

When anger shows up, it is not only there to defend. It is also there to invite us inward. If we can pause and ask ourselves, “What is my anger protecting?” we may find something essential waiting to be acknowledged. Sometimes anger is covering hurt, a wound to our dignity or our sense of belonging. Sometimes it shields fear, the sense that we may lose someone or something we depend on. Sometimes it guards grief, the quiet ache of loss that has not yet found its voice. By moving through anger and into the feelings it protects, we allow ourselves to respond with greater honesty, both to ourselves and to others.

Meeting Anger with Curiosity

The next time anger rises, try meeting it with curiosity rather than resistance. Notice its presence and even thank it for protecting you. Then gently ask yourself what lies beneath it. What softer emotion is the bouncer guarding? As you make space for the pain, fear, or grief that rests underneath, you begin to open the door to deeper self-understanding. Anger becomes less of an enemy and more of a guide, pointing you toward the emotions that most need your care.

Why This Matters

If anger is the only voice we express, our relationships often become strained and cycles of defensiveness grow stronger. But when we recognize anger as a protector of something more vulnerable, we gain the chance to meet ourselves and others with compassion. Anger is not the last word. It is the bouncer reminding us that something precious is inside. Something worth noticing. Something worth protecting. And most importantly, something worth feeling.

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Diving Into Depression: The Role of Introjected Anger and Resentment

by Michael Oakley, PsyD September 17, 2025

Depression is a complex mental health condition that affects millions worldwide. While often linked to biochemical imbalances, situational factors, and genetic predispositions, emotional experiences and internalized feelings also play a crucial role in its development. One such factor is the introjection of anger and resentment, which can significantly contribute to depressive symptoms.

What Is Introjection?

Introjection is a psychological defense mechanism where individuals unconsciously incorporate feelings, attitudes, or attributes of others into their own psyche. Essentially, it involves internalizing external emotions or criticisms, often as a way to cope or avoid conflict.

How Does Introjection of Anger and Resentment Manifest?

When someone experiences anger or resentment but suppresses these feelings (perhaps due to fear of confrontation, societal expectations, or personal beliefs) they may inadvertently turn these emotions inward. This internalization can lead to a host of emotional and physical symptoms characteristic of depression, including but not limited to:

Persistent sadness or emptiness

Loss of interest or pleasure

Fatigue and low energy

Feelings of worthlessness

Self-criticism and guilt

The Link Between Suppressed Anger and Depression

Anger and resentment are natural human emotions. When these feelings are invalidated or ignored, they don’t simply disappear; instead, they can be transformed into self-directed negativity. This internalized anger can erode self-esteem, foster feelings of helplessness, and perpetuate a cycle of negative thinking. These are all hallmark signs of depression and may be seen as medication-resistant. Essentially, anger turned inward becomes depression.

Research suggests that repressing anger may impair emotional regulation, making it more challenging to process other feelings healthily. Over time, this emotional bottleneck can manifest as depressive symptoms, as the individual feels overwhelmed by unresolved internal conflicts.

The Role of Resentment

Resentment often stems from perceived injustices or unmet needs. When these feelings are not acknowledged or expressed, they can fester within, contributing to bitterness and a sense of ongoing victimization. This internalized resentment fuels negative self-perceptions and hopelessness, further deepening depressive states.

Breaking the Cycle: Healing and Self-Compassion

Addressing depression related to introjected anger and resentment involves acknowledgment and expression of genuine emotions. Therapeutic approaches like talk therapy, especially modalities such as psychodynamic therapy, emotion-focused therapy (EFT), or cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can help individuals:

Recognize suppressed feelings

Understand their origins

Develop healthier emotional expression strategies

Cultivate self-compassion and forgiveness

Mindfulness and emotional awareness practices can also help identify and release repressed emotions, creating space for healing and growth.

Conclusion

Depression is rarely caused by a single factor. The introjection of anger and resentment is a significant but often overlooked contributor to emotional suffering. By understanding and addressing these internalized emotions, individuals can begin to heal, regain their emotional well-being, and move toward a more authentic and fulfilling life.

If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can provide guidance tailored to individual needs. Remember, though hard, acknowledging difficult feelings is a vital step toward recovery and emotional well-being.

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Stop Tearing Down and Start Building:

by Lorna Jansen, PsyD August 29, 2025

5 Ways to Enrich your Relationship Today

Frustrated by the way your relationships are going? Feeling like you’re always at odds with someone at home or at work? Here are a handful of tips you can use to revitalize your relationships and improve your interactions with others.

1. Look for the positives and focus on the other person’s strengths. For example, you might start by noticing how well your spouse manages his or her job, commitments at home, balance between free time and family time, or anything else. As you observe him or her, begin commenting about what you’ve seen like this: “You do a really good job with __________” or “I’m impressed that you were able to accomplish _________ today.” Dr. John Gottman says the magic ratio is 5 positive interactions for every 1 that is negative. In order to compensate for the inevitable bumps along the way, make a concerted effort to recognize the positive qualities of those around you each and every day.

2. Employ active listening skills. Active listening initially includes paying attention, withholding judgment and reflecting the other person’s words by repeating them back to him or her. This is especially important—and challenging—when there is conflict. As you take the time to slow down and focus on your co-worker’s point of view, you may find yourself less focused on making your case and more willing to reach a mutually beneficial solution. If you want additional information on this topic, look here: https://www.ccl.org/multimedia/podcast/the-big-6-an-active-listening-skill-set/

3. Take care of yourself. As you are able, focus on eating well, getting enough sleep, drinking water throughout the day, exercising, and managing your stress. This will have a positive impact on yourself and everyone around you. If you need help remembering to do these things, enlist some support partners. You might also use an app like Wunderlist to organize your goals and set reminders.

4. Look for common interests and seek to engage in those whenever possible. When you think of your relationships, consider whether there are any favorite activities, interests, or even favorite foods that could bring you and the people you love together. For example, you might consider setting up weekly, bi-weekly or monthly dates to spend time with each of your children. Enlist their help to come up with ideas of things they’d like to do or explore with you, and work your way through the list you compose.

5. Before you speak, consider the things you often say. If you are frequently at odds with someone in your life, think about the phrases you find yourself repeating to that person. Perhaps you need to change what you are saying so your family member can really hear the message. For example, if you find that you are constantly telling your dad that he’s embarrassing you in some way, maybe you could tell him some things you appreciate about him (see #1) and then give him a few tips about what he could say or do when he’s around your friends.

These five tips may seem simple, but will require a concerted effort on your part. If it seems overwhelming to implement all five at once, start with the one that seems the most likely to create positive change and work your way through the rest as you are able. Though you may encounter resistance at first, you will soon notice small differences in the relational atmosphere. If you or someone in your life would benefit from the help of a psychologist as you work to improve your relationships, please call our office at 215.491.1119.

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What is a Concussion?

by Casey Terzian, PsyD July 16, 2025

“Seeing stars,” “a bruise on the brain,” or just a good ol’ fashioned bonk to the head? This can be hard to sort out, especially with how this condition tends to be portrayed by the media. Surprisingly, not all concussions look like someone passing out, waking up in a daze with an open wound on their forehead and a little trickle of blood, being shaken and told they have to stay awake.

By definition, a concussion happens when some sort of force or impact occurs, and the brain is injured. Concussions happen as a result of many different situations: falls, contact sports, car accidents, and more. Our brains are suspended in fluid to help protect it from damage, but any sudden jolt with enough force may jostle the brain and cause it to twist or hit up against the skull, resulting in an injury to the brain tissue.

But not all bonks to the head will automatically lead to a concussion. So how do we know if we should be concerned? Here are some common symptoms to look out for immediately following the event (first 24 hours):

  • Loss of consciousness (LOC) – fainting or passing out after impact
    • Note: this can be very brief and be over by the time someone walks over to check
  • Posttraumatic Amnesia (PTA) – blacking out or being unable to recall what happened immediately prior to or following the impact
    • For more significant concussions, this may last for a few hours
  • Vomiting
  • Confusion – repeating themselves, forgetting information that was just told to them,
    • Disorientation – being confused about the time (when?) and place (where?), personal information (who?), or the situation (what?)

The initial symptoms immediately following the accident tell us a lot about how severe a concussion is, so pay attention if you can! If you personally have experienced a concussion, be sure to ask any witnesses or medical providers for information for your records. If you witness a concussion, make note of how long a person may have been unconscious for, or what their behavior was like right after they hit their head.

For less severe concussions, some of these more significant symptoms may not have been observed right away. That doesn’t necessarily mean that there was no injury! Here are some common symptoms that may emerge after the initial event, usually within the next few days:

  • Physical symptoms
    • Headaches
    • Dizziness or nausea
    • Light or sound sensitivity
    • Fatigue
    • Vision changes – blurry vision, double vision
    • Balance problems
    • Sleep changes – sleeping more or less, fitful or disrupted sleep
  • Cognitive
    • Confusion or “fogginess”
    • Attention problems – distractibility or difficulty concentrating
    • Memory problems – forgetfulness or difficulty remembering things
    • Impulsivity – doing things without thinking
  • Emotional
    • Anxiety
    • Irritability
    • Mood changes – being more emotional or tearful than usual
      • This is especially noteworthy if the concussion was the result of a serious accident or assault

All in all, it’s important to know about the different ways concussions may show up and what to do. Let’s say you were at your child’s soccer game, and just watched them collide head-on with another athlete after a gnarly header. Maybe it’s not clear if they lost consciousness during the scuffle of teammates, coaches, and trainers making their way onto the field, but they finally stand up and are shaky on their feet, confused, and pale. Here are some options for what to do if you have concerns that you or a loved one has suffered a concussion:

  • Immediately remove yourself or your loved one from the impact zone to avoid further injury
  • Seek medical attention at an urgent care, emergency room, or primary care physician depending on the severity of symptoms and any other injuries
    • For example, if there was no apparent loss of consciousness, your child was able to independently get up and walk over to the bench, and they talked about their symptoms with clarity, you may take your child home to rest before calling the pediatrician
    • Conversely, if there was an observed or likely loss of consciousness, your child is very confused and repeating themselves or vomits, then you may insist that your child be transported via ambulance to the emergency department immediately
      • If you have serious concerns about a severe head injury, be very wary about transporting a child independently
      • Once you arrive at the ED,  there will likely be an examination, some testing, and regular monitoring of symptoms
        • This may include brain imaging, such as a CT scan, to make sure there is not significant bleeding or damage to the brain
  • Keep track of any concerning symptoms that are seen
  • Prioritize rest and limiting stimulation on the brain
  • Seek support for how to best manage concussion recovery (That includes us!)

Here at The Center, we have qualified clinicians who specialize in brain injuries and concussion care. We are happy to personally evaluate and monitor concussion recovery, as well as provide education about concussions and strategies for optimal recovery. Please don’t hesitate to contact our office at 215-491-1119 or info@thecenterinpa.com. And please stay tuned for more information to come regarding general concussion and recovery information.

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